The Shift

Life and art in Columbia

2010-05-30T23:14:00.003-05:00

I no longer have to count down the days until I move to Columbia. We are here! I am already having a blast, but things right now are still a little stressful. The first night here I felt really homesick and broke down in tears for a while. It's also a little stressful seeing how much there is to unpack and how much space we have to put it in. It will all work out though.

Mason also starts his new job tomorrow night at 11 p.m. and get off at 7 a.m. I am extremely scared/anxious about being by myself at night, but i have made lists of things I can do to occupy my time and mind. Since I am an insomniac anyway, I am just going to put myself on Mason's sleep schedule. This 8 hour block by myself, 5 days a week, is going to be scary, but it will be good too.

I am going to do all I can to embrace and enjoy this time with myself. I cannot remember the last time I hung out with 'me'. I am going to take this time to allow myself to be creative. I got a head start tonight and painted the top of a little stool. I love it. The person in the picture is me, and the lines and shapes are the world that I live in. I strive to live like the girl I am in the painting, grounded and shining amongst all the chaos. We will see... but I think I can get there, it will just take time.

Peace and blessings to you,
Carli

Hooping

2010-05-25T12:12:00.002-05:00

Wouldn't be a true blog post from me if I didn't mention how things are going with our move. We move in............... 2 days! I am so excited, but I am also getting extremely nervous. I have had a couple people ask me why I'm nervous. Please, do not ask me why I'm nervous. It's completely natural to be nervous about moving to a new city, getting new jobs, going to a new school, making new friends, etc. Maybe it's because I am nervous, but that question really frustrates me and makes me feel like what I'm feeling is wrong. But, to end this post on a good note..

I have recently started hooping. Geeze, it is so.much.fun. It is also extremely hard and tiresome, because my little body is out o' shape. In the pictures above, I am using a child's hoop, but I now have several adult hoops that I made myself out of poly tubing 160 psi 3/4 inch that I found from JasonUnbound. These hoops are a lot bigger and heavier than the hoops you remember as a child.
I love hooping! I have been practicing for hours and hours everyday. I have a couple easy tricks down so far, which feels awesome, knowing where I started at. It also feels pretty discouraging when I watch videos of people who are amazing at what they do. You should seriously check out some hooping videos on YouTube. I am in awe of these hoopers.

Something's brewing deep inside of me.

2010-05-19T16:31:00.000-05:00

Something’s brewing deep inside of me. About 2 months ago, this “something” hit me. I’m not sure what to call it yet, but it has to do with being more aware of my femininity and finding feminine attributes in things not commonly seen as being feminine. Does this make sense? When I find something that interests me, I tend to do a lot of research on the topic. Since I’m not quite sure what to call this new feeling/interest, I don’t know what to research, so I went to our public library and typed in ‘Feminism’. I checked out quite a few books that fall under that category. I am currently reading “The Dance of the Dissident Daughter” by Sue Monk Kidd. This book is exactly what I need. I’m about half way through it, and it has really just blown my mind. Kidd refers to this feeling as finding ‘feminine spirituality’ or finding the ‘feminine divine’. I really like both of these and don’t know why I am struggling with choosing a name for it.

List of books on this particular subject:
The Dance of the Dissident Daughter - currently reading
The Red Tent - currently reading
Cunt
SARK - all of her books appeal to me
Flow - currently reading

Do you have any other suggestions? Let me know.

Love

2010-05-17T23:27:00.004-05:00

Okay, I have to start off this post by saying how many days left until my big move.... 9 days! (Well, in half an hour, it will be 9 days.) So, yeah. 9 days. Wow. These last few days have been all about cleaning and packing and hoping for lots of random money to come our way. :) We'll see about that one.... Mason and I have been selling a lot of what we own to try to get a couple extra bucks here and there. Tonight, we sold back some books to our local Hastings and got $35. Not bad! I definitely expected less.

So yeah, this post isn't actually to talk about my move (SURPRISE, i know). I mostly want to showcase some adorable pictures of my husband and me that were taken at our Wedding Celebration Shower. Our friend Valarie at Millions of Moments photography took these for us. Here are just a FEW of my favorites. Enjoy!

My heart is so full.

2010-05-14T17:17:00.002-05:00

13 days until we move. 13 days! I can't even believe it. Mason and I are only moving an hour and a half away from where we currently live, but it feels like the adventure of a lifetime! I am far past excited, partly because I love Columbia so much, partly because I don't love Kirksville so much. :)

I got my grades today from Truman State University and... THEY WERE EXCELLENT! I am super pumped. Not only am I leaving Truman on a good note, but I'm starting MU out great as well! So excited and happy happy happy.

My horoscope today says: Maybe you've been doing a little tossing and turning at night due to concerns about something going on at work, or with your reputation, Leo. Today, however, you may receive a message that eases your mind or reassures you. This message may come in the form of the support of a friend; their suggestions may encourage you to make adjustments or changes in your alliances or group affiliations. This may also be a day on which you decide to revamp your financial relationship with your business.

I have definitely received plenty of messages as of late letting me know that everything is going to be okay. No.. more than okay. Things are going to be wonderful! I cannot wait for this new part of my life to unfold. At first I was extremely worried and scared about being able to make new friends and attending a different University. I am slowly learning that I have nothing to be afraid of. I am the best me there is, and somebody somewhere will be interested in what I have to say. I am going to be as friendly and loving as possible. I have already inquired about joining a group of feminists on campus. :) I love every prospect of this move already. My heart is so full. SO full.

I just want to take this time to thank the Lord for everything He has done for me and my husband. Thank you, Lord, for just being so big! I know that through you, I can do anything. Thank you, thank you, thank you. <3

So much love to you, dear reader.
Carli

This post is pointless.

2010-05-11T23:56:00.004-05:00

It's midnight, so it's officially May 12. I am slowly crossing off each day of this month, looking forward to all the changes to come, but wishing they were already here. May 15th, Mason's parents are having a 'wedding shower' to celebrate our marriage. May 19th is my moms birthday, May 20th I get my tattoo colored in, May 22nd we are having a yard-sale. May 27 we are moving to Columbia! May 29 we are moving the rest of our stuff, and May 31st Mason starts his new job. Wow. I am starting to feel a little overwhelmed.... I also have to give my kitty cat away. Her name is Keiko, and she's a doll. I love her so much, but the duplex we are moving into only allows 1 pet, and we have a Boston Terrier named Fancy Pants. Mason and I found Keiko a really good home, where I know they will treat her with so much love, but I can't seem to shake the sadness. :(

All I can think about is moving, moving, moving. It's constantly on my mind.. the actual moving everything, packing, where we will put our furniture, what we will hang on the walls, what internet provider we should choose, setting up accounts in Columbia, lists of things to do while Mason is at work, etc. So, speaking of that, what internet provider should we use? Any suggestions? We need wireless internet for as cheap as possible... Let me know.

ALSO, I'm going to give myself a plug. I sell on eBay and etsy. Normally, I sell vintage items: clothing, jewelry, home decor. etc. Right now, however, I have some of my old clothes that I don't want to move with me listed. Check back May 31 and after for some killer vintage finds.

eBay: peace_love_and_vintage http://shop.ebay.com/peace_love_and_vintage/m.html?_nkw=&_armrs=1&_from=&_ipg=25

etsy: HolisticHaven http://www.etsy.com/shop/HolisticHaven

Uh.. I don't really think I have much else to talk about. This post was pretty pointless...

Yesterday was awesome. Today, not so much..

2010-05-07T13:48:00.004-05:00

Yesterday was awesome. Everything went smoothly. Besides having to go to the Orthodontist to get my braces tightened, nothing bad happened. So, as of right now, my husband and I live in Kirksville, MO. I had an ortho. appointment in Macon, 30 minutes away, at 3:00. Around 11:00 a.m. though, the Ortho. office called me and asked if I wanted to change my appointment to 1:00. I did, and this opened up a whole list of possibilities! Macon is on the way to Columbia, where we are moving in 3 short weeks, !!!, so Mason called MBS, a textbook company where he applied, to check on his application status and to set up an interview at 4:00. MBS scheduled the interview and we left for Macon. After Macon, we drove on to Columbia and got there a little early, so we went to the office of the places we are renting and paid off the rest of our security deposit! This is exciting, because it means we are OFFICIALLY ready to move in. We then drove around some to see where things were, like the Unitarian Church we are going to join. Then, Mason dropped me off at Michael's craft store and went to his interview. When he came back to get me, I could already tell by the look on his face that the interview went well. He got the job! So, now we don't have to worry about how we are going to pay rent. It was a little freaky knowing that we were going to be living there in 3 weeks, but had no source of income.... We then used our GPS to find the movie rental place nearest our duplex and set up an account there. Then we went and got library cards at the public library in Columbia. Holy wow. That library is huge, and the building is absolutely gorgeous. I love everything about it! Then, (don't you love how i'm just listing things off... then, and then, next we, etc. haha) we went to Peace Park, which we had never been to, and it is absolutely beautiful. There is a big, magnificent tree that you can sit under, and wow.. it was just awesome. There were 2 gorgeous Cardinals in a tree and a little baby bird perched on the end of a branch, too tiny to fly. I was in awe of my surroundings. We also walked around Mizzou's campus some, since I will be going there in a couple months and have absolutely no idea where ANYTHING is... scary... We finished off the day by going to Barnes & Noble and getting drinks and pretzels from the coffee shop there. What a delightful day!

Today, not so much.... but I would rather not dwell on the negative. I just pray that my day gets better. After all, it's only 2 in the afternoon. Send me pretty vibes!

Love love love,
Carli

I want a new name for 'Vagina'

2010-05-05T00:29:00.003-05:00

Did you know that the word "vagina" in Latin means a sheath or scabbard? Clearly, indicating a "sheath" in which to slide a "sword". Are you kidding me? I am sure a man named this.... Please help me think of something more appropriate to call it. Vagina is no more. :)

bipolar, college, Columbia, holistic, photography all in one post: phew!

2010-05-04T17:57:00.005-05:00

Last night was kind of odd. I should have listened to my body and went to bed when I was actually tired. But, instead, I kept myself awake by staying on Facebook, drinking THREE glasses of orange juice, reading random blogs on blogger.com, and making a run to Hy-Vee at 2:30 a.m. for Mac N Cheese. :( Sometimes my manic depressive behavior gets the best of me.
I guess I will talk about that some.. I have been diagnosed with bipolar disorder. I have Bipolar 1, which is a mental disorder characterized by extreme ups and downs. I have experienced depression so bad I can't get out of bed for days. I have experienced mania so bad that I hallucinate and become extremely violent. I have been on several different anti-depressants, anti-anxiety, mood stabilizer, and sleep aid medicines.
In December, 2009, I made the personal decision to go off all medication and live my life as holistically as possible. I have been using a lot of aromatherapy and essential oil techniques (lavender has been a lifesaver), better eating habits, exercise, and meditation. I have noticed SUCH a noticeable difference in myself! I have never felt as good as I do now. I have become a little "radical" in some people's opinion, but it works for me. I have eliminated virtually anything that could negatively affect my body or mood. I do not take ANY medication (aspirin, medicines listed above, cough syrup, etc.) I have several alternative healing books, and I base all of my health decisions off of these. I have chosen to not use any deodorants due mainly to aluminum found in it. I do not use any shampoos, soaps, etc. that are not completely organic and naturally occurring.
Like I said, I feel fabulous. Some people think it is all mental, and whether it is or not makes no difference to me. These decisions are the only thing that have helped me deal with the life/situations I have been given. I can finally say that I am happy. The life I live is full of love and was meant just for me. My husband is fully supporting all of the decisions I make and has joined me in all of them, as well. He is such a fabulous person. (Mason Hoffman)(Holiday-X) :)
His blog site is: http://holiday-x.blogspot.com/

A lot of big changes are happening for me that I know are just going to add to this happiness and love I have been feeling. In a leeetle over 3 weeks, Mason and I are moving to Columbia, MO which I am completely psyched about! Columbia is one of my favorite places that I have ever been to. It's a really funky, alternative town with so much more to offer than Kirksville, where I live now, and have lived the entire 20 years of my life. So, this is the first time I have ever moved away from my family, which I am a little worried about, but it is only an hour and a half away, so I know it will be okay. Mason and I are also transferring to new schools there! Right now, we both go to Truman State University, as Communication Disorders majors. Truman is a pretty small University, at least compared to MU which is where I am transferring to. Like I said, I am currently majoring in Communication Disorders. At MU, I am switching my major to Special Education, and plan on still getting my Masters in Communication Disorders. Mason is transferring to Columbia College and is switching his major to English with a concentration in writing. :)
I am VERY excited and VERY nervous. I hope more than anything that I can make friends.

Last night I started reading 'The Red Tent' by Anita Diamant. I'm only on page 15, but I am really excited about this book. I have heard a lot of good things about it, and I just feel really drawn to read it. Have you ever read this book? What did you think of it?

Well, thank you so much for listening to me ramble. I'm really excited about starting this blog. It feels really nice to "let it all out". :)

Oh! I also just submitted my final body of work for my Creative Photography class. You can view my pictures at http://www.flickr.com/photos/37457758@N04/sets/72157623868649405/
Let me know what you think, but be gentle! This is my first time taking and developing my own photos!

So much love to you,
Carli

Organic Herbal Tea

2010-05-03T23:02:00.003-05:00

It is 11:18 p.m. and I am thinking about going to bed. Right now I am drinking Traditional Medicinals Organic Nighty Night tea. This cup o' tea is so yummy and does wonders for my sleeping habits. The ingredients are all organic: Passionflower herb, chamomile flower, linden flower, catnip herb, hop strobile, spearmint leaf, lemon verbena leaf, lemon peel, west indian lemongrass leaf. I am hoping to get better in my 'blogging skills'. Practice makes perfect? Do you blog? Did you suck at first?

Something kind of interesting:
I had a dream last night of my old babysitter, whom I haven't seen for at least 11-12 years. She was an older woman back then.. Not sure how old she is now. In my dream, I found her on Facebook, and she had old newspaper article clippings of me scanned onto her page. I wonder what this means, and hope that she is doing alright. She lives in Kirksville, maybe I should send her a card.?

First Post/Photo Shoot

2010-05-03T17:00:00.006-05:00

My beautiful husband and I had a photo shoot yesterday at 3:30 a.m.
We are night owls.
We took these photos to track our growth. This includes daily living, dreadlocks, love, etc. I love these pictures so much. They truly show who we are.. a biography of sorts.
You can view the pictures at http://www.flickr.com/photos/37457758@N04/sets/72157623861696123/